Why people date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from old ages. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, finances, age difference, faith education, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married man date.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose generally though it is only the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your spouse or anybody else? You will need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, very big in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sadly this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.